Short Story: “Hawking Bomb”

I’m attending a comedy writing course with Trevor Strong of the Canadian comedy music band The Arrogant Worms. Check out his website for information about attending courses.

One of the assignments was to take what he had us write in the class: a routine task, and then a more important task, that get comically interrupted continuously. Our homework was to take one of those blurbs and expand on it. I ended up turning mine into a 2000-word story. Here it is below. Enjoy!

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Dream: Those Creepy Candies

I dreamt this on Aug. 26, 2017.

I was walking in to work. A woman I wasn’t fond of was heading for the elevator, so I decided to take the stairs. I walked in to the stairwell, and apparently she had the same idea. So we were both going up the stairs, but I was walking at a quicker pace.

For some reason, I was going through the door at each of the nine floors (in real life there are seven floors). At the door of each floor, there were a pile of candies. They looked like M&M Minis. At first I thought nothing of them. Someone must have dropped them on their way up. They were brightly-coloured reds and yellows. I went back into the stairwell and up to the second floor. The woman was just arriving at the door of the first floor, so I ascended the stairs quickly to stay ahead of her.

At the door to the second floor were more candies. I thought it odd that someone left candies at both floors, but again, paid no mind, maybe the last person was a bit messy. I again went back to the stairwell, noted the woman was halfway up the stairs, and I continued up to the third floor.

Same thing, I opened the door at the third floor and saw more candies. Now I was getting suspicious. This had to be deliberate. What’s the purpose? Someone was playing a joke? I noticed then that those candies weren’t as brightly coloured. They were duller, more pastel.

Back to the stairwell. I noted the woman was just leaving the door at the second floor, so I was well ahead. I opened the door to the fourth floor, fully expecting candies. Yup, they were there. Never right in my path, always to the side so they don’t get stepped on.

This continued at every floor until, by the seventh, I was fed up. By then the candies were pastel orange and green. I gave them a good kick, and they scattered all over the seventh floor lobby. I turned and went back into the stairwell, closing the door. But for some reason I happened to open the seventh floor door again. To my surprise the candies were back to where I originally found them. That freaked me out. I closed the door and ran up the stairs to the eight floor.

At the eighth floor… candies. Again I kicked them. Again they scattered all over the lobby. I stood there and watched them. To my shock, they started moving back. On their own, they converged back into a pile and rolled to the exact spot I found them.

I ran back into the stairwell, and up to the ninth floor. The candies there were pale pastel blue and grey, with a few pastel green. Desparate to get rid of them, I kicked them out into the stairwell and closed the door. It just so happened there was a huge slab of concrete laying against the wall beside the door. It was just a little bigger than the doorway, so it was a perfect barricade to keep those candies out. So I pushed the heavy slab against the doorway. There was no way those candies could roll back and get in.

Feeling victorious, I began walking to the security door into the office. Suddenly there was a loud bang behind me. I turned to see the concrete slab explode into a million pieces. Once the dust settled, I saw on the side of the doorway the very same candies I had kicked. They had returned to where I originally found them.

I woke up at that point.

Harold’s Sneeze, Revised

Last night for the first time I submitted a story to a contest.  I didn’t know about the contest until a few weeks ago, so I couldn’t find time to create something new, but since Writer’s Digest excludes personal blogs as a “published” source, I was able to submit a story I previously posted.  Made it just under the wire–the contest closes tonight.

I chose Harold’s Sneeze as my story.  I needed to shorten it to under 1500 words per the requirements, and then my wife did some major editing.  Hopefully what I sent is good enough for a win.

So, here’s the revised version of Harold’s Sneeze (formatting used for submission removed).

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Lucid Dream: Floating in a Grocery Store

My second lucid dream since starting to train myself.  Dreamt June 26, 2016.

I’m not sure if this is the start of the same dream, but I watched from a mountainous resort behind a glass wall.  In the distance a black plume of smoke suddenly rose from a distant mountain.  A few seconds later a white circle grew from it–a shock wave.  Apparently a volcano was erupting, and the pyroclastic flow was approaching fast.  I could see people outside noticing, and then running.  I knew they had no chance of outrunning this thing.  It came on fast, and when it hit the glass wall, my “scene” suddenly changed.

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Dream: The End Of The World?

This is the first dream I’m recording on my blog. As I remember dreams, and remember them long enough to get around to blogging them, they will appear in the Dream Journal category. I’m currently taking a good look at lucid dreaming, something that has happened by accident to me maybe half a dozen times in my life. For those who know about lucid dreaming, I’m practicing the MILD technique, with prospective memory cues for reality check reminders.

My dreams may also appear in a future short story or novel, as I think they could potentially be good fiction material. I already have an old dream slated for my upcoming novel (to be completed when I finish writing it). A short story I hope to complete soon includes the earliest dream I can remember vividly (I was 8 years old when I dreamt it).

Here’s the first installment, and the most recent, dreamt on May 17, 2016. I’ll add previous dreams that I currently have journaled elsewhere. Here we go…

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Flash Fiction Challenge: “Harold’s Sneeze”

Last week, Chuck Wendig asked his readers to post an opening line.

This week’s challenge was to take an opening line from last week’s challenge and write a story with it.

I chose “Little did Harold know that the sneeze he was about to experience would bring about the end of humanity and the world as he knew it.” by poorerdick. Enjoy!

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Flash Fiction Challenge: “Lay Down and Shut Up!”

My first submission for Chuck Wendig’s Flash Fiction Challenge.

This challenge involves a random cocktail name. Whatever cocktail randomly comes up, its name will be the title of the story. I got “Lay Down and Shut Up!”, consisting of Jägermeister, Hot Damn, Kahlua, and cream.  Enjoy the story!

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